One of the fastest growing fantasy games is the Fantasy Premier League (FPL) - a season-long version of fantasy soccer for the English Premier League (EPL). With millions of players each year, the FPL game is becoming a fixture for soccer enthusiasts across the globe.

Having played the game for the last twelve seasons and largely languished in mediocrity (apart from a top 30K finish in 2009/10), I was ready to finally put my largely wasted knowledge of football statistics to use and strive to become one of the game's elite players. Last season, I finished around the 250K mark and in the process won my family league - but that is not enough for me.

Tired of wasting my time with meaningless, emotion-fueled transfers, I have decided to make a concerted effort to not only destroy my fantasy league this year, but improve on last year's finish and - hopefully - have a good amount of fun in the process. Thanks for joining me on my journey through EPL's Fantasy Premier League. I hope you enjoy the embarrassment that is about to unfold and, just maybe, pick up a piece of advice from a self-described non-expert on the game.

EPL Diaries - Fantasy Premier League

The Squad:

GK: Rui Patricio (4.5M), Maarten Stekelenburg (4M)
DF: Benjamin Mendy (6M), Ben Mee (5M), Connor Coady (4.5M), Jan Bednarek (4M), Ezequiel Schelotto (4M)
MF: Mohamed Salah (13M), Christian Eriksen (9.5M), Henrikh Mkhitaryan (7M), Dale Stephens (4.5M), Kevin De Bruyne (10M)
FW: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang (11M) , Chris Wood (6.5M), Aleksandar Mitrovic (6.5M)

Analysis:

Bang average. Languishing in mediocrity. Two phrases that more than aptly describe my finish in the first week of FPL 2018/19. With 53 points, I was just over the 2 million mark in terms of rankings. However, given how my team played, I didn't consider it that bad of a result and am excited to move forward. Nevertheless, let's take a look at how my team did last week and what I have changed going into Gameweek 2.

In goal, Rui Patricio provided several key saves but was ultimately unable to keep two Richarlison finishes from going in the back of the net. Hopefully, he can do better against Leicester, but I wouldn't say I was disappointed with his performance.

My defenders are what saved me this week. Connor Coady, the Wolves captain, was only able to scrape by with a point (again, the Patricio-Coady connection may be more vulnerable than I first thought. However poor my decision was, I am resisting the intolerable itch that is the urge to early-season Wildcard... just remember how that's worked out for you in the past, Martin!). Nevertheless, Benjamin Mendy, that beautiful human, provided two assists in City's victory over Arsenal and played like a center-mid/winger hybrid who also defends in a thoroughly pleasing visual display. He could be a premium pickup this season, as his 6M price point is below those of more established elite defenders such as Marcos Alonso. Finally, Ben Mee blessed me with two bonus points and a clean sheet to take his total to eight points, essentially canceling out Coady's poor performance.

Unfortunately, things went downhill from there. Mo Salah, who I will never not captain, scored and got himself 16 points for the squad... but the rest of my midfield largely disappointed. From Mahrez coming off in the 59th minute (if you play FPL, you know how frustrating this can be) to Eriksen and Mkhitaryan both providing drab two-point finishes, my midfield didn't exactly resemble the dominant squadron that I had originally envisioned and instead could more aptly be described as annoyingly disappointing.

The same could be said for my attacking trio, where none of my three options were able to record a goal or an assist. All in all, finishing with 53 points was more damage control than anything else. I just have to keep reminding myself that this is a marathon, not a sprint. So, what to do from here?

Well, potentially make a terrible mistake, that's what! I committed a cardinal sin amongst fantasy players - transferring someone in too early in the week. I thought to myself, "Mahrez was pretty disappointing last week, let's bring on someone who even Pep Guardiola refuses to rotate, someone who I specifically saved an extra million to be able to bring in - Kevin De Bruyne." Imagine my utter delight when De Bruyne went down with a training injury and is now out for the foreseeable future. To the bench you go, Kevin. Because neither of my $4M bench defenders played (which is itself worrisome because I refuse to bring in Crystal Palace players - looking at you, Wan Bissaka - due to a friend being a diehard Palace friend), my only option to replace De Bruyne until I can transfer him out next week is Dale Stephens. Drab Dale Stephens. No-goals-in-all-of-last-season Dale Stephens.

Although I am almost certainly committing myself to another underwhelming week having lost one of my top options due to my nonsensical and completely amateur managerial display, I have to put faith in my side to do well. I have good fixtures for my backline and will hope for a few clean sheets, my midfield will rely on Salah and Eriksen to perform and perhaps Mkhitaryan to be the hero against Chelsea on Saturday, and my forwards need to step up after coming up short last weekend. And you know what - I believe in Dale Stephens. I believe in the epitome of a hard worker that is the Brighton man. Yes, he didn't score last year. Yes, he is playing against Manchester United. Yes, I have considered taking a transfer hit on De Bruyne for the last day or so before ultimately willing myself against it. But, nevertheless, I am putting my faith in this man, who once scored nine goals in a season for Oldham, to do the same this weekend.

Here's to me continuing to be average; wish me luck, because I well and truly need it.

That's all for this week - good luck gents!