The Hangover: 2020 NFL Draft Headlines

This year’s NFL Draft was the most highly anticipated of all time, with the lack of live sports over the last month creating a rabid hunger in starved sports fans. In addition to the already-existing substantial interest in the NFL, the quarantine life that our country has been living made this year’s draft an honest-to-goodness EVENT.

The subplots alone were fascinating: GMs relying on technology to draft from home, the inability of teams to conduct in-person interviews and physicals, and Roger Goodell announcing picks from his basement. There were so many things that could go wrong! We also had lots of actual football decisions that were legitimately intriguing: Where would Tua Tuagavola end up? How would New England approach their first draft post-Brady? Would we see a massive trade that might alter a franchise’s future?

In the end, we witnessed a draft that was somehow both by-the-book and shocking all at the same time. It began slowly, but continually gained steam thanks to unexpected twists and turns. The draft - like any self-respecting housewife - started out the evening casually sipping on a glass of wine while wearing a conservative cashmere sweater, only to fall victim to some questionable decision-making that resulted in doing shots and dancing topless on the bar. This inevitably led to the draft waking up with a massive headache a couple of days later. So, now that the party’s over, let’s hold the draft’s hair back and take a look at the resulting hangover by cracking open an ice-cold six pack of the most surprising and impactful moves made.

1: Tank for Tua? Mission Accomplished

The anticipation in the lead up to the draft - as well as its opening hours - totally revolved around the Alabama QB that’s coming off a major hip injury. With Joe Burrow and Chase Young essentially a lock to go one and two, a lot of this draft’s intrigue focused on where the supernaturally talented, but often-injured Tua would land.

Would a team like the Patriots make a massive trade to move up and snag him? Would his uncertain injury status and teams' inability to work him out cause him to free fall? In the end, this turned out to be one of the most anticlimactic stories of the opening round, as Tua landed where many felt he would and should go, to the rebuilding Miami Dolphins with the fifth pick, a franchise that can afford to take a swing on his massive upside. This led to the other QB domino - Oregon’s Justin Herbert - falling with the next pick and going to the Chargers at six.

While the Dolphins have been a dumpster fire of a franchise for years, this seems to be a great spot for Tua, as the combination of GM Chris Grier and HC Brian Flores appear to be up to the task of turning the ship around in Miami. There will be no organizational pressure to rush Tua back from injury and it feels like a great situation for all parties involved.

2: Receiver Roulette and Cowboys Domination

As has been discussed ad nauseum, this was perhaps the deepest wide receiver class in history. What wasn’t certain was the order the top-ranked trio of CeeDee Lamb, Jerry Jeudy, and Henry Ruggs III would be picked.

While most mock drafts and expert rankings had Ruggs as the third musketeer, the Raiders made the somewhat-surprising decision to take the speedster ahead of Lamb and Jeudy with the 12th pick. This left the more polished route runner Jeudy for the Denver Broncos at 15, and allowed the Dallas Cowboys to pull off what felt like the steal of the first round by nabbing CeeDee Lamb at pick 17, a spot where no one projected him to still be available.

There was pre-draft chatter that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones would be drafting with no nagging executives or scouts to hold him back (FUN!). While pulling the trigger from the comfort of his $250 million yacht, Jerry flexed on the rest of the NFL owners by getting the player that was sixth on Dallas’ draft board at 17, while also addressing other needs for the Cowboys over the course of the remaining rounds.

3: Green Bay Blows Up The First Round

With the exception of slight mini-slides by Isaiah Simmons and CeeDee Lamb, the first round was moving along in surprisingly-stock fashion Thursday night, when the Green Bay Packers decided to go Daenerys Targaryen on the draft and completely burn shit down out of nowhere.

It feels like a million years ago now, but the Packers were in the NFC Championship game just months ago and were expected to add a pass-catching weapon to their thin receiving corps. Instead, Green Bay basically gave Aaron Rodgers two fingers in the air, as they TRADED UP TO SELECT A QUARTERBACK!

Utah State’s Jordan Love is something of a divisive QB prospect that has loads of physical tools, but dipped in on-field production during his final year in college and is considered something of a project. What no one predicted is that he would land with the Packers - a team that was just one win away from the Super Bowl last season.

Yes, Rodgers is 36-years-old and not as statistically dominant as he once was, but he’s a player that is arguably still one of the best in the league at his position. Green Bay’s selection of Love is a pick made for the franchise’s future, when they have a team that’s built to win now. The redundant idiocy continued in the second round for the Packers when they backed up another position of strength and stud Aaron Jones with the selection of running back AJ Dillon. Green Bay fans have to be scratching their cheese-topped heads after this draft.

4: Philly Says, “Hold My Beer”

The Packers closed out the first round with “the pick heard ‘round the world”, but the Philadelphia Eagles kept the kegstand line going in round two with their mind-blowing selection of Oklahoma QB Jalen Hurts.

While the Eagles didn’t advance as deep in the playoffs as the Packers last season, this is a team that is just two years removed from winning the Super Bowl. Like Green Bay, the Eagles were in desperate need at receiver. Unlike the Packers, they did draft a WR in the first round - though they failed to aggressively move up and block the division-rival Cowboys from snagging a sliding CeeDee Lamb - with the somewhat eyebrow-raising choice of Jalen Reagor over Justin Jefferson.

There are undoubtedly injury concerns with Carson Wentz, but when healthy he’s proven himself to be a franchise-quality QB. Philly’s frontline receiving corps is old and injury-prone, while their depth at the position is short on talent. So while the selection of Reagor on day one did somewhat address their need, the move to go with Jalen Hurts in the second round is still a head-scratcher. If they aren’t sold on Wentz, why did they recently give him a contract extension? And if they are, why did they blow a second-round pick and almost invite controversy by bringing Hurts to a city that historically LOVES its backup quarterbacks in loud fashion.

5: Tampa Bay Is All In

The Bucs a.k.a. "Tom"pa Bay followed up their shocking offseason signing of Tom Brady with a Rob Gronkowski cherry on top prior to the draft.

Tampa Bay then proceeded to make every move possible in the draft to surround Brady with pieces that should help him succeed. The Bucs traded up to in the first round to ensure they got help on the offensive line, grabbing one of the premier tackles available in Iowa’s Tristan Wirfs. An upright Brady is a more effective Brady after all.

The Bucs didn’t stop there, adding offensive weapons Ke’shawn Vaughn and Raymond Calais at running back, stealing wide receiver Tyler Johnson in the fifth round, while also nabbing Antoine Winfield Jr to help solidify an improving defense.

We’re all curious as to how this experiment will play out, but the Bucs certainly rounded up some impressive pieces to pair with Brady and Gronk over the course of this draft.

6: New England Stands Pat

There was an almost palpable sense that the Patriots would do something in this draft, as the New England dynasty appears to be in danger of unraveling at the seams thanks to the departure of Tom Brady after a playoff loss at home to the Tennessee Titans.

This year’s QB-rich draft class seemed like a prime spot for Bill Belichick’s legendary trade prowess to be on the prowl. But then, there was...nothing.

The Pats actually traded back instead of up, moving out of the first round before making the most Patriot pick ever in Kyle Dugger, a safety that most people have never heard of from Division II Lenoir-Rhyne University.

When New England didn’t move up to draft a replacement for Tom Brady, most expected them to zero-in on a signal-caller that they earmarked for development in the later rounds - a Hurts, Fromm, or Eason - but a QB pick never came.

That means either the Pats feel comfortable going forward with second-year QB Jarrett Stidham, have their eyes firmly focused on next year’s QB class that is expected to include Trevor Lawrence and Justin Fields, or have a sneaky plan to sign a player like Cam Newton on a cheap, prove-it type of deal. Either way, it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise that Bill Belichick continues to march to the beat of his own drum and appears content to carry on with the Patriot Way, even without Tom Brady.

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