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The Cut List: Week 7

I got a time machine.

The only issue is, I don’t accomplish anything intrinsically good with it. I don’t zip back in time to warn people about natural disasters or plane crashes. I don't plan to save any extinct species or murder baby Hitler. I don't mess with God stuff.

I only use it for gambling and Fantasy Baseball. I plan to create the most insane FBB teams and just dominate whatever league dummies like you and Tristan Cockcroft belong to.

I’m going to bet on big sporting events like the Kentucky Derby.  I plan to go shopping in the future for a sweet robot hat that just blows people's minds. You will see me and my fantastic hat robot on TV jumping up and down victoriously with rich old white guys.

With this time machine, I’m going right back to draft night to snag Shelby Miller, instead of Taijuan Walker. I will take Eric Hosmer instead of goddamn Carlos Gonzalez. I might even go back in time to help Tom Brady deflate his balls more secretly, but that is a story for a different day.

Luckily, you read RotoBaller and I just went ahead and got you some insider Cut List information. Here are some players to think about cutting bait on as we approach week 7.

 

Devin Mesoraco

Drop him. Nobody is going to keep him in a dynasty league at this point. He is a mess. His .118/.231/.176 triple slash over 16 games is just bad. His health situation is strange. The Reds medical staff thinks he will need season ending surgery, but for some reason, management would rather let him try to heal on the active roster and pinch hit instead of shutting him down. Either way, cut him loose and let him be some other manager’s wasted roster spot.

 

Chase Utley

Time to take this old dog behind the shed. Utley has only 12 hits in 98 AB and sports a  .205/.244/.430 slash.  The Phillies have the worst record in baseball and it’s no surprise with this hot mess. Drop him.

 

Steve Pearce

Don't drop him! On July 4th, he will choke on a hotdog, pass out and have a delusional vision. This vision will be of a shamanic drum circle where smoke signals profess the specific issues with his batting mechanics. After July 4, Pearce will be a top 75 producer for the remainder of the season.

 

Elvis Andrus

When will Elvis stop being overrated? He has performed barely above a replacement level player each of the last two seasons. He is one cat contributor with a potential 30 SB, otherwise he is useless. If Zack Cozart is available, grab him. Cozart has one less SB but leads all SS with an insane .918 OPS. He is currently the third ranked SS in Yahoo and could outrank Starlin Castro if he keeps up this pace.

That is all for now…come back later and I will give you a hundred pesos.

 

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