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Welcome to Wednesday December 10th's edition of the Daily Sports Recap, where we reserve the right to nut-punch the first person to say "Hump Day" at 6 in the morning. It's bad enough the sun's not out yet, I don't need to deal with what you call it, Glen.
Sports News From Yesterday (12/9)
Oakland Trades Samardzija to White Sox
Early Tuesday morning, news broke that the Athletics would continue their roster purge by shipping RHP Jeff Samardzija to the White Sox for prospects. This is great news for Chicago fans, who also acquired closer David Robertson, bolstering a rotation that already included a Cy Young Award winner in Chris Sale. Samardzija brings high-level pitching to the No. 2 spot in the Sox rotation. This is also great news for those Chicago fans who believe being able to produce players' last names was uncomfortably intimate. Vegas has already set the over-under for mispronunciations in the Chicago area at 500,000 over the regular season.
Cavaliers Win Eighth Straight Game
The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Eastern Conference-leading Toronto Raptors 105-101 tonight to win their eighth consecutive game. So everyone who was super excited about that "impending Cavaliers collapse" after five games may want to pack it up and wait this one out. Yet again, LeBron James' superteam has shown tremendous ability in showing pundits that no, their record after the first two weeks of the season isn't really a valid sample. All the "LeBron is a god" people can come back, though, if only because it'd be great if everybody at ESPN read this column.
Johnny Manziel to Start Against Bengals Sunday
Brian Hoyer's latest brutal game (zero touchdowns, two interceptions) has resulted in the ascent of Johnny Football to the starting spot in Cleveland. Or probably #Cleveland by now.
(Oh really? That quick? OK then.)
We've just received reports that the city of Cleveland has changed its name to the #Kingdom of #Moneyville in the wake of the Cavaliers' success and Manziel's promotion.
In actual news, though, Bengals coach Marvin Lewis referred to Manziel as a "midget" when asked about the possibility of playing against the Texas A&M product. Which is disappointing. Sure, it's insensitive, but he really missed a golden opportunity to call an NFL player an Oompa-Loompa. Come on, their helmets are the perfect color for it!
Michigan Loses To Eastern Michigan 45-42
Honestly, I feel like the "Ohio State fan makes fun of Michigan losing" joke is starting to wear thin, but they're just making it so damn easy. The Wolverines put up a football score in a basketball game for their second consecutive upset loss. In related news, NJIT is reporting astronomical sales increases as other Big Ten schools purchase Highlanders gear specifically to screw with Michigan.
God I love the Big Ten.
Minnesota Wild Score Three Goals in Third Period to Defeat New York Islanders
And the entire city of Toronto just had PTSD flashbacks after reading that sentence.
Sadly, it's time to conclude the "funny" part of the column with news of Panthers QB Cam Newton's car accident and Chiefs S Eric Berry's diagnosis with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. We here at RotoBaller merely want to extend our heartfelt expressions of condolence and best wishes for both players as they make their recoveries.
